I HATE THINSPIRATION!!

Oh my goodness I'm 100% certain that the devil created "thinspiration"- how much more detrimental to our bodies can we be if we are more focused on being thin than on being healthy. Thin is a socially constructed ideal- thin is not a size, it is not a health goal- it is an unobtainable goal because no matter how hard you work out, how much paleo/organic/juice cleanse diets you try someone will always be skinnier than you. And guess what- it could be natural skinniness or it could be caused by a deadly eating disorder. 

This may seem like a kind of out of the blue rant but it isn't, don't worry- I have always been this crazy. This is something that has been simmering under the surface for quite sometime and it was either my .9mile run or the 3rd piece of pizza that's causing it to come out. 

Really this whole thing started with Pinterest  I was looking on Pinterest because I like looking at things, I like food and clothes and pictures of pretty things and places. I even have a fitness board- do I use it? Well... maybe I've tried one thing a couple times but for the most part, nope. That is probably my most wasted board. I actually stopped pinning to it because it was turning into something that caused me shame. My fitness board was causing me to shame my own body. It would go something like this:

this one's kind of a doozy- click through if you love me :)

On being "skinny"

My entire life I have been the "skinny girl". I was that girl that people 'hated' because I literally ate pizza for lunch every day and didn't eat healthy and could eat a bucket of KFC chicken and not gain weight. From the time I was a little girl people would comment on how skinny I was, not in a bad way but almost like a compliment. I did sports all throughout my childhood. I was constantly doing some athletic activity until my junior year of high school when I didn't make the volley ball team, but even after I stopped consistently working out I was still "skinny". I never gained the "freshman 15" I think mainly because my diet never changed. I moved away from home and ate the exact same way I ate when I was home. Also I dislocated my ankle my first semester and so the first few weeks of college I was kind of on an eat when I need to diet because I couldn't walk. But that aside, I was always "skinny". I went on study abroad, where everyone gains weight, and I lost 10 pounds. I actually had a girl come up to me one day and ask me 'how I stayed so skinny' which was awkward because she was all about health and fitness and I, well, wasn't. People have always asked me that though, "How do you stay so thin?" "You're so skinny! How do you do that?". You guys, pizza and fries and moderate to sedentary exercise plan. That was my diet. That is what I did to stay "skinny".

This one is kind of a doozy. Putting in a break. Click through for more!

On Disordered Eating

We have all been taught about eating disorders. We all know about Anorexia and Bulimia and some of us even know about Binge Eating which was recently added as an eating disorder to the DSM. What we don't hear about is disordered eating. I want to talk a little bit about that. 

First of all, basics. Anorexia- eating very little to nothing in order to loose weight. Not a diet, but a very constrictive psychological issue that controls the persons eating habits. Bulimia- binge eating or just normal eating and then purging either through throwing up or laxatives in order to loose weight- also psychologically based. Binge Eating- loss of control of eating in order to body shame, again psychological. 

So what the heck is disordered eating. Is it eating foods in the wrong order- desert then veggies? Not necessarily. Disordered eating covers the rest of the unrecognized "eating disorders" that affect society. Disordered eating, in my own words and according to my understanding, is any odd behavior towards food or eating that is psychologically based. This can include an addiction to food or to any certain food, aversions to specific foods or specific food groups, or anything under the big blue sky. I think to some degree we all have disordered eating. Not to be pessimistic, it's just a fact, and accepting it is important. 


putting in a break because I love you. click through if you love me.

thoughts from my 17 year old self- modesty

So I was exploring the dark depths of my facebook tonight and found all of my old 'notes' {are those still a thing? I feel like they died out a while ago} Anyway- I found something I had written a little under 4 years ago and I was kind of proud of myself for writing it. There has been a lot of talk about Mormonism lately in the media and I have seen some stuff- mainly criticisms about the modesty guidelines written in the the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet. Here is how I thought about modesty as a personal issue when I was a Junior/Senior in high school

"ok so this kinda inspired by the summer and walking around a lot of water parks lately.

"So i really dont get why girls feel the need to wear less clothing, im not sure if it makes them feel more comfortable especially in the hot weather but honestly im not sure."I personally keep my dress standards to clothing that covers my shoulders, chest, butt, stomach, and shorts that cover above my knee. This is a personal choice that is guided by the standards set by my chruch (aka: mormon/Chruch of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints/LDS). Although these guide lines may sometimes seem like "restrictions" i have come to love modesty and what it stands for. I believe by wearing respectable clothes it is easier for me to be comfortable around others because i dont have to worry if my underwear is showing or if i have anything falling out. I also dont have to worry about guys giving me negative attention, i know that when i cover up my body guys are more likely to be looking at me and noticing my personality other than noticing my body. I feel that wearing modest clothes projects an image that shows that i respect myself. The clothes i wear and the standards i set for myself are all choices and i am very passionate about modesty."I do not say any of this in judgement of others, i personally do not feel comfortable in revealing attire and do not understand why people wear little clothing, but i was raised with different standards than a lot of people and that probably has influenced my choices but that is what they still are: choices."The American Junior Miss pageant winner is a great example of what I believe. Lindsey Brinton is from Utah and she boldly stated during the pageant her feelings on modesty. She is an amazing role model for everyone. Check out this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHdZYMKxLdM"

Not the best piece of literature I have ever read/written but what's important is the message.

Modesty is not a standard taught in the LDS church so as to not tempt men with our seductive curves. Modesty is very individual. I do it for myself- not for anyone else. A benefit might be that boys don't just notice me for my body but the main reason is to show respect. Respect to myself, to those around me {because no one really feels comfortable when you're clothes aren't functioning properly}, and most importantly it is a sign of respect to my Father in Heaven for the body that he gave me. I treat it with respect {also why we have the Word of Wisdom, no tattoos, etc.} to show that it is a gift that I value and want to keep in good condition.

Think about if you got a nice new car for Christmas- you had picked it out and someone you love a lot sacrificed to give you this car because they loved you too. This is your car- you can really do whatever you want with it. But would you drive it recklessly and fill it with fast food garbage and crash it into stuff? How would the person who gave you that gift feel about the way you treated the car they gave you? It's really a very similar situation. I take care of my body and respect it because it is a gift from someone I love and who loves me.

This is why we have modesty as a standard.

Celeb crush of 2012? Joseph Kony

And by crush I mean the physical act of breaking into small pieces-
not the temporary love of an adolescent

.

Kony is the leader of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) rebel army in Uganda- no spread to other parts of Africa. The LRA abducts small children- think younger siblings or cousins or nieces and nephews and forces them into slavery- young girls into prostitution and young boys as soldiers. This man has children fighting his battles for him- not that he's fighting against anything- he just wants power.
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Do something.
That is all

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"Miss Representation"

As a Women Studies minor and open feminist I have a lot of gripes about the media and the treatment/depiction of Women. My dear friend and Jeru roommate told me about this film that I should check out called Miss Representation. I really can't say anything more about it than the trailer already says so please watch it-

I hope that this does something to turn the media around, to turn our culture around. Something needs to change and I think this is it. If you want to learn more about the film go to their website: http://www.missrepresentation.org/

Take the pledge

Find a screening of the film

Write about your story as a woman, as a man who respects women.

Who ever you are- this isn't just a women's issue. After watching the trailer you must have noticed that most of the images of women were pornographic or alluded to sex- even Condalisa Rice. When the media turns the only women in politics into sex figures we have a problem.

Not to sound like any presidents or anything but we need change and we need to be that change.

who is responsible?

In light of recent BYU events- which I'm not entirely proud of- I have been thinking a lot about responsibility. Even the recent article in the Daily Universe about a girl raped in Provo ended up talking about what women should do in order to prevent rape from happening to them.

My question is- who's fault is it really? If I have to walk home from campus in the dark because of a test review or for any reason at all and I end up getting attacked is it my fault for walking alone in the dark? Is it a girl who might have underestimated (or overestimated) the length of her skirt's fault for a guy suddenly getting inappropriate thoughts? While I'm not saying girls shouldn't be modest or shouldn't be cautious I also think it's time to give responsibility to those who are actually having the problem. Men and women have to control their impulses and thoughts and that is our personal responsibility. Can we help each other? yes. Men can stop raping women and women can try to wear clothing that is not revealing {easier said than done my friends}.

My friend recently posted this on her facebook wall/timeline thing {why is it called a wall or a timeline? It doesn't make sense...} and I think it finally puts responsibility in its proper place:

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
... 3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to assault her.
4. If you are in a lift and a woman gets in, don’t assault her. You know what? Don’t even ogle her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not assault her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or assault her.
7. When you lurk in bushes and doorways with criminal intentions, always wear bright clothing, wave a flashlight, or play “Boys Who Rape (Should All Be Destroyed)” by the Raveonettes on a boombox really loud, so women in the vicinity will know where to aim their flamethrowers.
8. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from assaulting women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you when in public.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to assault a woman, you can hand the whistle to your buddy, so s/he can blow it to call for help.
10. Give your buddy a revolver, so that when indifferent passers-by either ignore the rape whistle, or gather round to enjoy the spectacle, s/he can pistol-whip you.

Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be assaulting her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

The only way to prevent rape 100% of the time is for men not to rape, the only way to prevent attacks is to not attack.

So riddle me this: why should rape and attack on women be a issue for women when it is obviously a problem for men?