We have all been taught about eating disorders. We all know about Anorexia and Bulimia and some of us even know about Binge Eating which was recently added as an eating disorder to the DSM. What we don't hear about is disordered eating. I want to talk a little bit about that.
First of all, basics. Anorexia- eating very little to nothing in order to loose weight. Not a diet, but a very constrictive psychological issue that controls the persons eating habits. Bulimia- binge eating or just normal eating and then purging either through throwing up or laxatives in order to loose weight- also psychologically based. Binge Eating- loss of control of eating in order to body shame, again psychological.
So what the heck is disordered eating. Is it eating foods in the wrong order- desert then veggies? Not necessarily. Disordered eating covers the rest of the unrecognized "eating disorders" that affect society. Disordered eating, in my own words and according to my understanding, is any odd behavior towards food or eating that is psychologically based. This can include an addiction to food or to any certain food, aversions to specific foods or specific food groups, or anything under the big blue sky. I think to some degree we all have disordered eating. Not to be pessimistic, it's just a fact, and accepting it is important.
putting in a break because I love you. click through if you love me.
I have had disordered eating my entire life. ENTIRE LIFE. My mom loves to tell the story of when my little sister was born and how excited she was that she would actually eat the baby food my mom fed her instead of refusing mushed carrots and peas like I did when I was a baby. I was a picky baby! I refused to eat veggies as a baby! Did I mention ENTIRE LIFE! So here is how DE manifests itself in me. I have a fear of trying new foods, an anxiety if you will. There are certain foods that I cannot (not will not but cannot) eat. I call them my allergies by choice. I will not eat raw onions, I will not eat corn, I will not eat really any vegetable except spinach and lettuce (and those are very recent exceptions). I won't eat peanut butter or jam/jelly on my rolls. I won't eat fish... My bean burritos have to have no whole beans in them and all ratios have to be perfect. I don't like my foods mixed/touching unless I personally mix them to my liking. And as a result I MUST know what I am eating at any meal. Unidentified foods, especially wrapped foods like pot stickers or burritos that hide their contents are very stressful for me. In fact I won't eat them unless I know exactly what is in them. When I want to try a new restaurant, especially a new international food, I have to look at the menu to make sure I can find something I will eat. I usually can, I'm not too bad, but it's hard. And most importantly I have to decide to try new food or I won't like it.
So there's a lot of stuff in that DE, but luckily for me it is easier for me to say what I don't eat rather than what I do. I've read about people with DE who only eat grilled cheese, plain potato chips, and a soda. Or they'll eat white bread, chicken strips, and fries. But DE is a limiting lifestyle, not a choice but a way that I live. Eating dinner at other people's houses is stressful and I have to worry about offending people. I have to explain myself to everyone and people don't really understand. They just think I'm weird and say stuff like, "how can you live like this" "how can you be healthy" "how can you be skinny" "you're going to die!". You know what? You're going to die too, at least my taste buds will be happy. I can joke about it, I do joke about it. All the time. Usually it's pretty sincere joking, rarely offended, but at the same time it's a real psychological issue I have to deal with and it does/has caused some anxiety in my life. I wish I could just eat things or enjoy a good salad every once in a while. I have come a long way, even since my freshman year of college. I used to just avoid most international foods like Indian food or Thai food. Now I love both of them, like a lot! I used to not eat any vegetables but now I'll add spinach to my homemade pizzas and I can eat Caesar salad, but not the crunchy stocks of the lettuce, only the leaf part and with lots of croutons or sides of garlic bread. Mmm garlic bread. I have eaten a little bit of fish and I have tried calamari though I don't think I'll be doing those things again any time soon, but I'll eat shrimp if I'm feeling in the mood or if it's in Vietnamese or Chinese food/fried. This gives me hope that one day I'll be able to not have this anxiety, this Disordered Eating.
I'm not asking for pity in this, but maybe understanding. Not just for me but for everyone that has DE or a recognized eating disorder. It's not about vanity or stubbornness. It truly is a psychological disorder and one of the worst things you can do when talking to someone who has an eating disorder (recognized or not) is to comment on what they eat or ridicule someone on their eating habits. That person has probably heard everything in the book from their friends and family and they have to deal with their own criticism of their eating habits. They don't need your criticism too.
I went to this AMAZING panel discussion with my mom last night. Beauty Redefined's Lexi Kite was there, as were C. Jane Kendrick and two other amazing women with backgrounds in Disordered Eating. I won't get into all of it cause this post is too long anyways but C. Jane said something that will stick with me forever, mainly because I'll probably get it embroidered on a pillow, "We are on this earth to learn how to eat". Which, by that she was also talking about loving our bodies and giving them the nutrition they need instead of punishing them. But it really stuck with me because I have found that a small portion of my life, though larger than most people's, is to learn how to eat and love my body despite it's many imperfections.
the end. Thanks for sticking through that doozy of a post.
ps. Proof that I did eat fish. Notice the small bites I took and that it was very covered in lemon and salt and pepper. But also note that the fish still had skin, bones, head and eyes so that was pretty darned brave of me.
First of all, basics. Anorexia- eating very little to nothing in order to loose weight. Not a diet, but a very constrictive psychological issue that controls the persons eating habits. Bulimia- binge eating or just normal eating and then purging either through throwing up or laxatives in order to loose weight- also psychologically based. Binge Eating- loss of control of eating in order to body shame, again psychological.
So what the heck is disordered eating. Is it eating foods in the wrong order- desert then veggies? Not necessarily. Disordered eating covers the rest of the unrecognized "eating disorders" that affect society. Disordered eating, in my own words and according to my understanding, is any odd behavior towards food or eating that is psychologically based. This can include an addiction to food or to any certain food, aversions to specific foods or specific food groups, or anything under the big blue sky. I think to some degree we all have disordered eating. Not to be pessimistic, it's just a fact, and accepting it is important.
putting in a break because I love you. click through if you love me.
I have had disordered eating my entire life. ENTIRE LIFE. My mom loves to tell the story of when my little sister was born and how excited she was that she would actually eat the baby food my mom fed her instead of refusing mushed carrots and peas like I did when I was a baby. I was a picky baby! I refused to eat veggies as a baby! Did I mention ENTIRE LIFE! So here is how DE manifests itself in me. I have a fear of trying new foods, an anxiety if you will. There are certain foods that I cannot (not will not but cannot) eat. I call them my allergies by choice. I will not eat raw onions, I will not eat corn, I will not eat really any vegetable except spinach and lettuce (and those are very recent exceptions). I won't eat peanut butter or jam/jelly on my rolls. I won't eat fish... My bean burritos have to have no whole beans in them and all ratios have to be perfect. I don't like my foods mixed/touching unless I personally mix them to my liking. And as a result I MUST know what I am eating at any meal. Unidentified foods, especially wrapped foods like pot stickers or burritos that hide their contents are very stressful for me. In fact I won't eat them unless I know exactly what is in them. When I want to try a new restaurant, especially a new international food, I have to look at the menu to make sure I can find something I will eat. I usually can, I'm not too bad, but it's hard. And most importantly I have to decide to try new food or I won't like it.
So there's a lot of stuff in that DE, but luckily for me it is easier for me to say what I don't eat rather than what I do. I've read about people with DE who only eat grilled cheese, plain potato chips, and a soda. Or they'll eat white bread, chicken strips, and fries. But DE is a limiting lifestyle, not a choice but a way that I live. Eating dinner at other people's houses is stressful and I have to worry about offending people. I have to explain myself to everyone and people don't really understand. They just think I'm weird and say stuff like, "how can you live like this" "how can you be healthy" "how can you be skinny" "you're going to die!". You know what? You're going to die too, at least my taste buds will be happy. I can joke about it, I do joke about it. All the time. Usually it's pretty sincere joking, rarely offended, but at the same time it's a real psychological issue I have to deal with and it does/has caused some anxiety in my life. I wish I could just eat things or enjoy a good salad every once in a while. I have come a long way, even since my freshman year of college. I used to just avoid most international foods like Indian food or Thai food. Now I love both of them, like a lot! I used to not eat any vegetables but now I'll add spinach to my homemade pizzas and I can eat Caesar salad, but not the crunchy stocks of the lettuce, only the leaf part and with lots of croutons or sides of garlic bread. Mmm garlic bread. I have eaten a little bit of fish and I have tried calamari though I don't think I'll be doing those things again any time soon, but I'll eat shrimp if I'm feeling in the mood or if it's in Vietnamese or Chinese food/fried. This gives me hope that one day I'll be able to not have this anxiety, this Disordered Eating.
I'm not asking for pity in this, but maybe understanding. Not just for me but for everyone that has DE or a recognized eating disorder. It's not about vanity or stubbornness. It truly is a psychological disorder and one of the worst things you can do when talking to someone who has an eating disorder (recognized or not) is to comment on what they eat or ridicule someone on their eating habits. That person has probably heard everything in the book from their friends and family and they have to deal with their own criticism of their eating habits. They don't need your criticism too.
I went to this AMAZING panel discussion with my mom last night. Beauty Redefined's Lexi Kite was there, as were C. Jane Kendrick and two other amazing women with backgrounds in Disordered Eating. I won't get into all of it cause this post is too long anyways but C. Jane said something that will stick with me forever, mainly because I'll probably get it embroidered on a pillow, "We are on this earth to learn how to eat". Which, by that she was also talking about loving our bodies and giving them the nutrition they need instead of punishing them. But it really stuck with me because I have found that a small portion of my life, though larger than most people's, is to learn how to eat and love my body despite it's many imperfections.
the end. Thanks for sticking through that doozy of a post.
ps. Proof that I did eat fish. Notice the small bites I took and that it was very covered in lemon and salt and pepper. But also note that the fish still had skin, bones, head and eyes so that was pretty darned brave of me.
Great post! I didn't know that about you but have a ton of respect for you making it through the JC! My sister-in-law has either that but considers herself a "supertaster" which gives her a lot of anxiety about eating food. She is able to joke about how she only eats white bread and chicken strips and has slowly been able to try a few new things (strawberries and lettuce) and she's doing great!
ReplyDeleteThat's what I call it normally, and what my mom has called it my whole life. It's good to be able to joke about it- I think it helps with the anxiety and makes it easier to try new foods.
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