On being "skinny"

My entire life I have been the "skinny girl". I was that girl that people 'hated' because I literally ate pizza for lunch every day and didn't eat healthy and could eat a bucket of KFC chicken and not gain weight. From the time I was a little girl people would comment on how skinny I was, not in a bad way but almost like a compliment. I did sports all throughout my childhood. I was constantly doing some athletic activity until my junior year of high school when I didn't make the volley ball team, but even after I stopped consistently working out I was still "skinny". I never gained the "freshman 15" I think mainly because my diet never changed. I moved away from home and ate the exact same way I ate when I was home. Also I dislocated my ankle my first semester and so the first few weeks of college I was kind of on an eat when I need to diet because I couldn't walk. But that aside, I was always "skinny". I went on study abroad, where everyone gains weight, and I lost 10 pounds. I actually had a girl come up to me one day and ask me 'how I stayed so skinny' which was awkward because she was all about health and fitness and I, well, wasn't. People have always asked me that though, "How do you stay so thin?" "You're so skinny! How do you do that?". You guys, pizza and fries and moderate to sedentary exercise plan. That was my diet. That is what I did to stay "skinny".

This one is kind of a doozy. Putting in a break. Click through for more!

WEDDINGS

So yesterday I found out that one of my best friends of all time is getting married this summer (it's not official yet so I can't say who) and needless to say I AM SOOOO HAPPY FOR HER! I actually have a few friends getting married in the next few months. Dan's best friend/old roommate and one of Dan's best friends from high school are both getting married within the next few months and both of whom I'm also good friends with. It just makes me happy, people getting married. I think it's because it is really one of the best things I have ever done and it brings me so much happiness daily I just want everyone to also be that happy! It's really just so great. 

But anyway, it reminded me that I never actually blogged about my wedding. So, because you all care A TON, here is our special day.
We got married (at 8:20 in the morning) August 10, 2013. Needless to say I don't remember a ton. I only slept 2 hours the night before and woke up at 4 to start getting ready. I do remember that there were a lot of people there that I loved, there were a lot of people I didn't really know, and everything was absolutely wonderful. We took pictures outside the Salt Lake City Temple with friends and family after the ceremony. Ate a wonderful lunch at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. And then we headed back to Provo for a perfect open house at my grandparent's. The following week included 2 other receptions/open houses but we'll stick to Provo for now. 

I'm including a break because I love you, if you love me click through. hint: pictures!

On Disordered Eating

We have all been taught about eating disorders. We all know about Anorexia and Bulimia and some of us even know about Binge Eating which was recently added as an eating disorder to the DSM. What we don't hear about is disordered eating. I want to talk a little bit about that. 

First of all, basics. Anorexia- eating very little to nothing in order to loose weight. Not a diet, but a very constrictive psychological issue that controls the persons eating habits. Bulimia- binge eating or just normal eating and then purging either through throwing up or laxatives in order to loose weight- also psychologically based. Binge Eating- loss of control of eating in order to body shame, again psychological. 

So what the heck is disordered eating. Is it eating foods in the wrong order- desert then veggies? Not necessarily. Disordered eating covers the rest of the unrecognized "eating disorders" that affect society. Disordered eating, in my own words and according to my understanding, is any odd behavior towards food or eating that is psychologically based. This can include an addiction to food or to any certain food, aversions to specific foods or specific food groups, or anything under the big blue sky. I think to some degree we all have disordered eating. Not to be pessimistic, it's just a fact, and accepting it is important. 


putting in a break because I love you. click through if you love me.

My Thoughts on Equality a la Ainsley Hayes

Lately I've just kind of been in a tizzy over all of this Mormon women and the priesthood and equality thing. It really happens twice a year with General Conference and women wanting to go to priesthood session and all that stuff. This time around though I've been reading an amazing book "The Beginning of Better Days". It's basically sermons from the Prophet, Joseph Smith directed to the Relief Society with two essays on women and the priesthood by Virginia Pearce and Sheri Dew. I'm not quite through Sister Dew's essay but so far I'm just in love. It says everything I want to say, but it says it more eloquently and just says and knows more. It's great. Read it. Now. You can borrow my copy when I'm done. 

Anyway, with that book, the NYTimes article, and various conversations I've had I'm just in a tizzy about all this. I have strong opinions on Mormon women and the priesthood, a lot of women do. There are a lot of opinions to be had on the issue and a lot of issues surrounding the issue. It's just too much darling, too much. But in this post I will try to voice what I feel as an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and a woman and a feminist. 

Sometimes it is hard being a woman. Sometimes it's hard being a Mormon woman. Sometimes it's hard being a semi-liberal feminist Mormon woman, especially here in Provo. I don't hold a lot of the same ideals as a lot of people around me, or even as those who might classify themselves the same way I do. If you know me, like really know me, you know that I really really like the show West Wing. If I had to choose a favorite character, and it's a really hard decision, I would have to say it is Ainsley Hayes (who is actually a republican ). There's a part where she talks about why she doesn't support the ERA and it's fabulous, but the same logic Ainsley Hayes a la Aaron Sorkin uses also works to explain why I will not push for women to be ordained to the priesthood. Here is my/my mom's edited version for this purpose, "it's humiliating to ask for an ordination 'declaring' that I am equal to men in God's eyes. I am mortified to discover there is a reason I wasn't before. I am a full member of the church, I am not a special subset in need of protection. I do not need to have my rights handed down by man. The same priesthood that blesses them blesses me, and I went to the Temple and studied my scriptures just to make sure". 

I am proud to be a member of a church that makes hard decisions. A church that not only has a righteous doctrine but also maintains their beliefs even when it is unpopular. A church that will not change its stance on issues even though it may cause church membership to go down. I am proud to belong to a church that only changes according to modern revelation and not according to the requests of the public. This is why I will not press for ordination of women or to be admitted to priesthood session of conference. I want my ordination to come from God not man. If there comes a time when God reveals that women are to be ordained to the priesthood I will follow and I will receive it with joy, but it will not change my equality with men in His eyes because I always have been equal to men.

Learning to Love

I have made a recen realization about myself. I really love to love to cook. It is so relaxing for me to just find a recipe that I know I can follow and get all the ingredients and just cook and the feed people. We had our friends over for dinner Monday night and I made some delicious ham+cheese sliders (that we also had at our wedding) and garlic fries (a la Safeco style). I had never made either of those things before and in total I spent quite a bit of time cooking all of it, but it was fun! And they were both pretty easy recipes and had a lot of down time. 

I'm not saying I'm a good cook, lest you start to believe that I am. I almost burnt the sandwiches and I totally botched the fries. I have this thing where I want the fries to be super skinny so they're cripsy but then they burn and don't taste good at all so I just need to get over myself and cut the fries bigger. But I also learned that if you add enough garlic and oil pretty much anything tastes good, so fries saved and crisis averted. 

Anyway I have learned to love cooking and the way that happened was I learned how to cook. Really until about 2 years ago I would just throw things together and put them in the oven and hope it would work out. It NEVER did. I never thought about cooking, the flavors, consistency, etc. I still have a hard time with it. But once I learned that cooking is really a science (these ingredients actually work together to make your cookies bake correctly and you can tell if it will work by how the dough turns out) everything came together. Once I understood cooking I started to love it. 

I'm still learning and I think I'll be figuring it out for the rest of my life but at least I'm figuring it out instead of giving up. I mean I totally botched all of the cookies I made in high school and I did the same thing last night. The difference between high school Katie and last night Katie was instead of giving up I figured out what I did wrong. I never added enough flour, the dough was always too runny. 

Learning and understanding has made me love cooking. Learning and understanding is the way we start to love. Whether it is people, an activity, or education; once we start to learn and understand something that is when we start to love that thing.