If you could color me any emotion, I think it would be empathetic. Alright- it's not really an emotion but what color would it be? Mirror? Clear? Green? It's not orange because that's loneliness (Big Bang Theory shout out). Okay it's not a color it's not an emotion. But I have an overwhelming gift of empathy.
This gift is sometimes really great- I can feel really happy for friends very easily. I feel their happiness. I understand what they're feeling and it makes me so so so happy for them. It's great being able to rejoice in other people's happiness. It has helped me create bonds with people I normally wouldn't have bonded with. But as with all good things there is a down side. I feel my empathy works more in the negative too.
The first time I noticed my empathy was when I started watching tweeny bopper shows like Degrassi or really anything on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel. I loved those shows for some reason. It was like looking into my life- except that it was completely different from my life. It was like looking into my life if it were written to be on television. The thing was I couldn't watch a full episode. I would have to change the channel if anything awkward or embarrassing was going to happen. It felt like it was going to happen to me- that this social awkwardness that my 12 year old mind was trying so hard to avoid was occurring to me simultaneously with the characters on these shows. If you're wondering this still happens to me when I watch TV and when I'm people watching in the math building on campus. So awkward.
I see it more in my life now. I see it when I read essays or stories about people losing loved ones or having miscarriages. Those are the worst, the miscarriages. Oh my goodness how those hurt my heart. It's an awful thing to go through, loosing a baby. I can't imagine it but when I read those stories my empathetic heart opens up and I can't help but feel some of that pain.
I don't know why I'm so empathetic, it's just how I came. It's nice sometimes- I can see arguments from other's view points, I think about how others are affected by things a lot. It helps me to avoid awkward or rude circumstances. But at the same time... it doesn't.
This gift is sometimes really great- I can feel really happy for friends very easily. I feel their happiness. I understand what they're feeling and it makes me so so so happy for them. It's great being able to rejoice in other people's happiness. It has helped me create bonds with people I normally wouldn't have bonded with. But as with all good things there is a down side. I feel my empathy works more in the negative too.
The first time I noticed my empathy was when I started watching tweeny bopper shows like Degrassi or really anything on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel. I loved those shows for some reason. It was like looking into my life- except that it was completely different from my life. It was like looking into my life if it were written to be on television. The thing was I couldn't watch a full episode. I would have to change the channel if anything awkward or embarrassing was going to happen. It felt like it was going to happen to me- that this social awkwardness that my 12 year old mind was trying so hard to avoid was occurring to me simultaneously with the characters on these shows. If you're wondering this still happens to me when I watch TV and when I'm people watching in the math building on campus. So awkward.
I see it more in my life now. I see it when I read essays or stories about people losing loved ones or having miscarriages. Those are the worst, the miscarriages. Oh my goodness how those hurt my heart. It's an awful thing to go through, loosing a baby. I can't imagine it but when I read those stories my empathetic heart opens up and I can't help but feel some of that pain.
I don't know why I'm so empathetic, it's just how I came. It's nice sometimes- I can see arguments from other's view points, I think about how others are affected by things a lot. It helps me to avoid awkward or rude circumstances. But at the same time... it doesn't.
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